If you’ve ever stubbed your toe, lost in love, attended a friend’s funeral or been laid off at work, then you know the meaning of pain. It’s universal and can be experienced emotionally, physically and/or spiritually.
Since we all experience pain in one form or another, why do we often ignore the pain of loved ones who experience infertility?
When my first pregnancy failed and I was diagnosed with infertility, a good friend said, “Lesley, it’s not a big deal. You were only eight weeks along in your pregnancy. You can try to have another baby.”
Her words kicked me in the gut. I had lost my first child, my baby girl. It was a very big deal to me. I missed out on my dreams of holding her, celebrating her first birthday and teaching her how to read. My hopes and expectations were shattered. The pain I felt was real, overwhelming and paralyzing.
The truth is that most people don’t understand infertility. They don’t know that one-in-six couples suffers from infertility, a condition of the reproductive system in which pregnancy cannot be achieved. They don’t realize that it’s a medical condition. It’s like having diabetes or arthritis. It can’t always be cured and, more than likely, you’ll have to live with it.
Because of people’s ignorance, they can be insensitive. While one friend dismissed my pregnancy loss, others avoided me like the plague. They never said a word to me about it. When I eventually saw them, they acted as if nothing had ever happened.
Even though others were ignoring my pain of infertility, I was determined to face my feelings and deal with them. I knew I needed to walk through my pain in order to find peace and be healed.
When you experience a pregnancy loss or receive a diagnosis of infertility, pain and grief overtake you. Dealing with the deep emotional pain takes time and the grieving process cannot be forced or hurried. It can take months and even years.
From personal experience, I learned three things that helped move me through my pain and the grief process: tears, talking and time.
Tears helped me heal by releasing the pent up emotions of anger, fear, sorrow and disappointment. After a good cry I always feel an overall sense of well being because tears release toxins from the body that’s caused by stress. When it comes to grief and loss, tears are very beneficial.
I also found a good friend who was willing to listen without adding commentary. Being able to talk about my pain and loss helps my healing process. Infertility is such a private experience that it can make you feel completely alone and isolated from others. Talking about it makes the journey more bearable.
It took a long time for me to process my pain of infertility. The amount of time needed to grieve is different for each person. Grief is a highly personal experience and hard to communicate. I learned that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
The biggest lesson I learned is that my feelings of grief and pain were normal. There was no timetable for getting over my sense of loss. It was a process and I realized the importance of taking one day, and often one hour, at a time.
Additional info on infertility:
http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
I love it when guys read my book! Chapter 5 is totally dedicated to men so there’s plenty info and stories for guys to peruse in Infertility Journeys, Finding Your Happy Ending.
I’d like to say thank you, John, for writing and sharing your thoughts about my book on Amazon.com. I appreciate your book review. Here’s what John wrote:
“Must Read for anyone experiencing or know of anyone experiencing fertility issues.” “Such a well written book! The personal stories compel the reader to want to read more. It gives great insight into the journey couples take – in my case it helped me see what others have been through and how I might be more supportive.”
“The medical resources are an added bonus. What a great wealth of information put into an easy to read and compelling format! I hope all couples struggling with any fertility issues and their friends and family will read this book.”
Submit Your Review of My Book on Amazon.com
If you’ve read Infertility Journeys, Finding Your Happy Ending, please post your review on Amazon. I welcome your comments.
About the book: Infertility Journeys, Finding Your Happy Ending tells the family-building journeys of 18 couples who struggle with infertility and how they find their happy endings.
The book offers a source of encouragement, inspiration, and hope to women and men who have been diagnosed with infertility. It helps you to process unmet expectations and enables you to navigate your family-building options. This book is for anyone who has been affected by infertility, including family and friends of infertile couples.
Dr. Diamond’s endorsement:
“Written with self-awareness, honesty, humor and compassion, Infertility Journeys, Finding Your Happy Ending weaves the stories of women and men together with a wealth of information about the medical and psychological processes that patients experience. The book provides not only vivid descriptions of the experience, but important coping tools as well. It truly provides hope for all people experiencing infertility.”
– Martha Diamond, Ph.D.Co-Director, Center for Reproductive PsychologyCo-author of Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility
I have good news to report. My pregnancy has continued along smoothly in the last trimester. Other than getting tired, having lower back pain and pain in my hip joints (which is awful at times) things have been okay. The doctors have continued to monitor the baby’s velamentous cord insertion condition.
Today I had my final appointment with my high-risk doctor. He seemed optimistic and positive. The only thing that concerned me is that the baby’s amniotic fluid has continued to drop. It’s still in the normal range which is considered to be between 5 cm and 24 cm. Just last week on Monday it was 13 cm, then it dropped to 11 cm on Thursday and today it is 9 cm. [Update: days later I had another ultrasound and the fluid measured 16 cm. I guess that goes to show that the numbers change as the baby moves around. And I'm having different doctors doing the ultrasounds, and getting different results. So, it's still anybody's guess and doesn't give me a lot of confidence that we "really" know how much amniotic fluid is surrounding the baby. I'll just hope for the best. This is another area where the doctors know a lot but they don't know EVERYTHING. But the doctors say don't worry, so that's what I'm gonna do. ]
I’m now almost 36 weeks along in this pregnancy, but the baby’s weight is measuring as if she’s 38 weeks along. She is about 7 pounds 10 ounces according to my high risk doctor. He says it’s no problem since I’m scheduled for a c-section. I’m wondering if she will come early since she’s bigger. I only have 3 weeks until my c-section, but it’s anybody’s guess.
The Importance of Amniotic Fluid:
The amniotic fluid is part of the baby’s life support system . It protects your baby and aids in the development of muscles, limbs, lungs and digestive system. Amniotic fluid is produced soon after the amniotic sac forms at about 12 days after conception. It is first made up of water that is provided by the mother, and then around 20 weeks fetal urine becomes the primary substance. As the baby grows he or she will move and tumble in the womb with the help of the amniotic fluid. In the second trimester the baby will begin to breathe and swallow the amniotic fluid. In some cases the amniotic fluid may measure too low or too high. If the measurement of amniotic fluid is too low it is called oligohydramnios. If the measurement of amniotic fluid is too high it is called polyhydramnios.
Too Little Amniotic Fluid: Oligohydramnios is the condition of having too little amniotic fluid. Doctors can measure the amount of fluid through a few different methods, most commonly through amniotic fluid index (AFI) evaluation or deep pocket measurements. If an AFI shows a fluid level of less than 5 centimeters (or less than the 5th percentile), the absence of a fluid pocket 2-3 cm in depth, or a fluid volume of less than 500mL at 32-36 weeks gestation, then a diagnosis of oligohydramnios would be suspected. About 8% of pregnant women can have low levels of amniotic fluid, with about 4% being diagnosed with oligohydramnios. It can occur at any time during pregnancy, but it is most common during the last trimester. If a woman is past her due date by two weeks or more, she may be at risk for low amniotic fluid levels since fluids can decrease by half once she reaches 42 weeks gestation. Oligohydramnios can cause complications in about 12% of pregnancies that go past 41 weeks. (http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/lowamnioticfluidoligohydramnios.htm)
When you’re tired of syrup on your French Toast and want to add more fruit to your plate, why not cook up some beautiful blueberries that are packed with antioxidants. So yummy!
Fresh Blueberry Sauce By Lesley Vance
Ingredients:
2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
1/3 cup coconut sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions:
Rinse and crush blueberries; add coconut sugar, lemon juice and salt. Mix well. In a small saucepan, bring blueberry mixture to a boil; boil 1-3 minutes. Add vanilla. Serve hot over pancakes, waffles, French toast, puddings, cakes or ice cream. Enjoy!
I am originally from Jackson, Mississippi, so this issue is near and dear to my heart.
In a nutshell: The Mississippi Initiative 26 would take away a couple’s reproductive rights. For couples with infertility, the Initiative would hinder/inhibit them from using fertility treatments. Couples would not be allowed to make their own decisions regarding how to build their family.
Mississippi State Medical Association realizes there are strong feelings both for and against Proposal 26 that we recognize and appreciate. Our concern is not with those issues and
we do not in any way wish to take sides.
Our concern is how this amendment will affect the common practice of obstetrics and gynecology. We fear that it will place in jeopardy a physician who tries to save a mother’s life by performing procedures and employing techniques physicians have used for years.
The common procedures we use now could be interpreted as murder or wrongful death if Proposal 26 passes. This justifiably will limit the physician’s options and deter use of common lifesaving procedures. It is for this reason only, the MSMA Board of Trustees cannot support Proposal 26.
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Before I jump into explaining the details of Mississippi Initiative 26, allow me to give you a hypothetical scenario to put things into perspective.
Imagine you and your husband have been trying to have a child for three years with no results. You finally go to the doctor and get diagnosed with infertility. Maybe your husband has low sperm count and you have blocked fallopian tubes. After the heartbreaking news, you begin investigating Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART), knowing it may be the only way to have a biological child of your own. Because your fallopian tubes are blocked you decide to try a cycle of in vitro fertilization (IVF), giving you the best chances for conception.
During your IVF cycle, let’s suppose your doctor retrieves 16 follicles from your ovaries. From the 16 follicles, let’s say you get 8 good eggs. You’re excited that you have 8 good eggs, but you know not all of them are likely to become embryos once they are fertilized with your husband’s poor quality sperm. Nevertheless, you and your husband are hopeful because you’ve been praying to have children for a very long time.
Some of the questions you may ask yourself at this point are:
1. Should we fertilize all 8 eggs with my husband’s sperm? If not all 8, then how many?
2. What do we do with the eggs we don’t fertilize? Should we freeze them? If so, what is the viability of the eggs once they are thawed? How well will they fertilize with my husband’s sperm after being thawed?
If we initially only fertilize 3 (fresh) eggs (and freeze the other 5) and none of the 3 become embryos, then we’ve lost the opportunity to have fertilized the other 5 eggs. Hence, it would mean $18,000+ down the drain (for the one IVF cycle), and we’d have to start all over again with another IVF cycle to get more fresh eggs.
Egg Freezing According to the San Diego Fertility Center, oocyte cryopreservation or egg freezing, is a relatively new procedure in the field of assisted reproductive technologies. Overall, this technology increases a woman’s potential to have children later in life. Since the first successful pregnancy using egg freezing was reported in 1986, approximately 600 babies have been born. Currently, pregnancy rates are between 30 and 40 percent in good prognosis patients.
Let me explain more about freezing your eggs: Once the follicles are retrieved, there’s a small window of opportunity to fertilize the eggs. You can’t just put them in a Sub Zero refrigerator for a few days to make your decision. They don’t keep unless you freeze the eggs. Once frozen (using oocyte cryopreservation) and then thawed, the eggs’ success rate for proper fertilization decreases significantly. Again, pregnancy rates are between 30 and 40 percentin good prognosis patients.
A fresh egg is always the best for fertilization. Plus, the fertilization process in itself takes three to five days to see if an egg will properly unite with a sperm, be fertilized and become a zygote. Then, the zygote becomes a blastocyst that would then be transferred into the uterus for implantation.
Most couples would typically choose to fertilize all 8 eggs, hoping for at least 3 or 4 good embryos as a result. Please be aware that there are no guarantees. Just because the eggs are fertilized doesn’t mean they will all become viable embryos.
How’s it done? So, after egg retrieval the 8 eggs are rinsed, counted, and placed in an incubator. Later that day, the 8 eggs are fertilized with your husband’s sperm. Because his sperm aren’t optimum, the doctor uses Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI), inserting the sperm directly into your egg.
Again, lets suppose that after four days you have 5 blastocysts that develop. The other 3 eggs and sperm didn’t fertilize for whatever reason. Now, you have 5 blastocysts that are viable.
What’s a blastocyst? After the sperm and egg unite to form the one-celled zygote, the zygote travels down the fallopian tube toward the uterus. At the same time, it will begin dividing rapidly to form a cluster of cells. By the time the zygote reaches the uterus, the rapidly dividing cluster of cells — now known as a blastocyst — has separated into two sections. The inner group of cells will become the embryo. The outer group of cells will become the membranes that nourish and protect it. On contact, it will burrow into the uterine wall for nourishment. This process is called implantation.
So, when does a blastocyst become an embryo? The third week after conception marks the beginning of the embryonic period. So, technically you don’t have an embryo until the blastocyst has implanted into the uterine wall, which is the third week after the one-celled zygote formed.
When does the embryo become a fetus? At the beginning of the ninth week after conception, the embryo is now officially described as a fetus. (Source: MayoClinic.com)
Now that the technical speak is out of the way and we understand the process, let’s get back to the hypothetical situation.
Transfering the Blastocysts: Once you have 5 blastocysts (cluster of cells), you’ll have to decide how many to transfer into your uterus. If you transfer 2, then you’ll probably want to freeze the other 3 in case things don’t work out.
Later, the 3 frozen blastocysts will have to be thawed to transfer them into your uterus for a second chance. The viability of the blastocysts will have decreased because of the freezing and thawing process, but at least you have the blastocysts, which gives you another opportunity if your first transfer does not work out.
Your fertility specialist can give you the statistics on viability for your thawed blastocysts. Viability will depend upon your age at retrieval.
What does Mississippi Initiative 26 have to do with this? The Mississippi Initiative 26 that Mississippians will vote on November 8th is a “Personhood Amendment” that will change how a person is defined in the Mississippi Constitution.
Did you know? Infertility affects at least 10-15 percent of couples in Mississippi (and in every state across the US) who desire pregnancy. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates there are 7.3 million infertile couples in the U.S. For a number of those with infertility, Assisted Reproductive Technology, including in vitro fertilization (“IVF”), is necessary.
In IVF, multiple eggs are fertilized in a lab to increase the likelihood of pregnancy. The microscopic fertilized eggs develop for three to five days, and then one or more are transferred to the woman’s uterus in the hope one will implant and develop to birth.
Sometimes extra fertilized eggs remain after a couple becomes pregnant, which is a benefit as many infertile couples require more than one attempt at implantation before a pregnancy occurs; many suffer from miscarriages; and many infertile couples plan on having additional children. Thus, doctors often cryopreserve (freeze) the remaining microscopic embryos.
With Personhood Legislation, however, the legality of these effective pro-pregnancy fertility treatments would be called into question. If microscopic fertilized eggs/embryos are full humans, anything that puts an embryo at risk could be a criminal violation, even if its goal is the undeniable social good of helping someone have a baby.
The legal uncertainties stemming from the proposed amendment would make it difficult or impossible for reproductive endocrinologists to treat patients at all using ART. Thus, the Personhood Legislation would prevent couples with infertility from being able to have families.
Again, as the Miss. State Medical Association pointed out: …”this amendment will affect the common practice of obstetrics and gynecology. We fear that it will place in jeopardy a physician who tries to save a mother’s life by performing procedures and employing techniques physicians have used for years. The common procedures we use now could be interpreted as murder or wrongful death if Proposal 26 passes. This justifiably will limit the physician’s options and deter use of common lifesaving procedures.”
If you live in Mississippi, I urge you to vote NO on Mississippi Initiative 26 because it takes away a couples right to make their own reproductive decisions.
You can also visit to learn more. LINK: http://www.resolve.org/get-involved/mississippi-initiative-26.html
What can I do to fight Initiative 26? Answer: If you live in MS, vote NO on November 8th and urge your friends and family to do the same. If you live in MS we need you to speak out – contact RESOLVE at info@resolve.org if you are willing to share your story with the media. We need the face of real people that will be impacted by this Amendment. We need accurate information conveyed to the citizens of Mississippi.
If you don’t live in MS, help spread the word about Initiative 26. If you have a blog, write about it; if you frequent online forums or communities, talk about it; and if you know anyone in MS, please contact them and urge them to Vote No on November 8.
SAN DIEGO — October 19, 2011 — Lesley Vance, author of Infertility Journeys: Finding Your Happy Ending, will host a “Coping with Grief” teleconference during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month on Saturday, October 29, 2011 at 9:00 a.m. Pacific Standard Time, http://lesleyvance.com/events.
Former President Ronald Reagan adopted Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month in 1988 to recognize the need for community education and awareness regarding miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death (www.october15th.com). Each year in the United States, more than two million women are faced with the tragedy of pregnancy and infant loss, according to the American Pregnancy Association.
“Whether it’s you or someone you know, we’ve all been touched by the tragedy of pregnancy and infant loss. Knowing what to say and how to help your family member or friend can make a big difference in his or her grieving process,” said Lesley Vance, teleconference host and author of Infertility Journeys: Finding Your Happy Ending. “About one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, and SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) is the leading cause of death in babies in the United States. Any loss of a child can leave parents, family and friends devastated,” Vance added.
Benefits of “Coping with Grief” Teleconference:
Explains the grieving process
Offers suggestions to friends and family members who want to help their loved ones during times of crisis, helping them know what to say and what “not” to say
Validates the experiences of women and men who have suffered a loss
Suggests steps for coping with grief
Teleconference Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011
Time: 9:00 a.m. Pacific Standard Time (11 a.m. CST/12 p.m. EST)
Conference Number: 1-218-548-1857 Passcode: 1987
About Lesley Vance Lesley Vance is the author of Infertility Journeys: Finding Your Happy Ending, which tells the family-building journeys of 18 couples who struggle with infertility and how they find their happy endings. She leads an Infertility Support Group in San Diego, Calif. and writes an infertility blog on her website, http://lesleyvance.com/blog.
Tomorrow — Saturday, October 15th — is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It’s a day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death which includes but is not limited to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or the death of a newborn. It is observed annually in the United States and Canada and, in recent years, in the United Kingdom, on October 15. The day is observed with remembrance ceremonies and candle-lighting vigils, concluding with the International Wave of Light, a worldwide lighting of candles at 7:00 p.m.
Here are some suggestions to commemorate your baby.
• Light candles and display them in your windows.
• Tying pink or blue ribbons around trees in yards, neighborhoods, and parks.
• Plant a tree in memory of your baby.
• If you miscarry before 24 weeks gestation, there is no legal registration of your baby’s life. Ask your hospital if they could provide documentation/certificate of your baby’s birth.
• Place signs and banners in your yard, neighborhoods, and parks.
• Have a ceremony at the hospital chapel, a church, a beautiful park, at the beach or at home. Traditionally we hold memorials and funerals to remember loved ones who have died. It is just as important for parents and family to remember the baby and to have an opportunity to say goodbye.
• Most hospitals have a book of remembrance which you can ask to have your baby included in.
• Write a letter or poem for your baby.
• Select your favorite charity and offer a donation in your baby’s honor.
Other ideas to increase awareness about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day:
Contact your local radio stations and television news stations to have them announce that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
Write an article and submit it to your local newspapers.
Sponsor flowers in memory of your baby in a church service or hospital.
Drive with your headlights on. Also, ask that radio and news stations announce this as well.
Sponsor a candle lighting ceremony in a park, church, or local hospital.
Official website for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: www.october15th.com
New Book helps families cope with grief: Infertility Journeys, Finding Your Happy Ending helps families cope with the grief of pregnancy loss. Chapter six offers steps to help women and men deal with the shock, pain, depression, anger, bitterness and questions that arise when experiencing such a profound loss. The book is available on .
You’ve tried so hard. You’re overwhelmed and emotionally bankrupt. You’ve spent endless amounts of energy and dollars in your longing to create your family. But tests, time and tears have not produced results, and now you are wondering…what’s next? Do I give up my dream? What about egg donation or surrogacy?
You are not alone.
Stop. Breathe. Step back and know that you are not alone. There are kind, caring professionals who can gently guide you toward your best decision. With your partner, talk to a counselor, find a support group or agency and process this difficult time in a healthy, open way.
Take time out.
Take time for yourself when you have exhausted traditional means of conceiving. Pause before moving to the next step. Pamper your body and soul with a healthy diet, gentle exercise, stress-busting rest and relaxation. Nurture your spirit with quiet prayer, meditation or readings according to your beliefs. Regroup.
Do your homework.
Choosing whether egg donation or surrogacy is right for you requires arming yourself with knowledge, but help is at hand. Websites, organizations and agencies offer information and consulting. Read testimonials of others who have created a family with the help of others. Learn. Choosing an egg donor: If your doctor reports that you need an egg donor, you may grieve about losing the genetic link to your child. Take time to process this loss. Many intended parents choose to focus on the joy of raising a child regardless of physical characteristics. This child will be your family’s treasure…chosen, planned for and delivered with great thoughtfulness.
Working with a reputable egg donor agency or a fertility clinic can be critically important, as they can help find an ideal match from a broad spectrum of donors with various cultural backgrounds and physical characteristics. Egg Donor agencies and fertility clinics often pre-qualify donors with requirements relating to age, health, education and maturity.
One of your biggest decisions will be whether to choose a donor who is anonymous, semi-known or known. An anonymous donor is one you will never meet. A semi-known donor is one who shares limited information. A known donor is friend, relative or even a stranger you have chosen through an agency, but one you will meet within agreed-upon boundaries. Choosing a surrogate: Surrogacy is the act of carrying a child for prospective parents. The child may be genetically theirs, or the egg and sperm may be obtained from donors. Many agencies offer online surrogate matching, and determining whether these agencies are authentic and qualified is the first step. Look for a real address and phone number. Ask if you can contact references.
Once you’ve selected the surrogacy agency, choosing a particular surrogate mother requires careful review of their qualifications (criminal background check, previous delivery records, support system, age, healthy BMI… ) and motives (materialistic, empathy with the infertile wife, the drive to generate parenthood for others…). You’ll speak personally with the candidate. Agencies may arrange conference calls before an actual face-to-face meeting. Be patient, as finding the right surrogate mom is beyond important.
“We were very skeptical,” shared one mother-to-be about her twins’ surrogate. “About 45 seconds into the conversation, we fell in love with her!” The parents soon realized that their surrogate shared values that meshed into their family’s culture. After meeting face-to-face, the mother-to-be said, “It was like it was meant to be! When we hugged, I felt like I was hugging my own sister.” Of course, not every surrogacy results in such kinship, but using a reputable agency’s selective matching process can significantly improve your results.
Are you ready to take the next step?
There’s so much to think about. Take time out. Learn all you can. Contact a reputable agency. And finally, make the decision that’s right for you and your significant other.
My journey continues…. Pregnancy after infertility is not easy as I’ve mentioned in earlier posts. Mostly I have felt robbed of the “joy of being pregnant” as I was sick as a dog the first 17 weeks. And because of my first three pregnancy losses, I kept thinking I’d miscarry at any moment which only added to my misery. Then, I passed the first trimester. I had hoped to feel more excited, but still there were no fireworks.
As my recent guest blogger, Dr. Blanchard, said,
“Pregnancy can be an extremely unpleasant experience for some people, both physically and mentally. After years of ART and yearning for a child, you are expected to be grateful for whatever pregnancy brings and not to complain about it. Hormones are widely implicated in a woman’s sense of well-being. During pregnancy, certain hormones are at an all-time high. It is possible to experience high levels of anxiety, depression or both. Understandably, the incongruity of a woman’s fantasies of pregnancy and her experience may cause additional emotional distress.”
At week 20 I was beginning to turn a corner, allowing myself to believe in the possibility that this pregnancy might stick. Then, I had another appointment with my high-risk doctor. While doing my ultrasound the doctor discovered that I have a condition called velamentous cord insertion. Only 1% of singleton pregnancies have this.
What is it? is an abnormal condition during pregnancy. Normally, the umbilical cord inserts into the middle of the placenta as it develops. In velamentous cord insertion, the umbilical cord inserts into the fetal membranes (choriamniotic membranes), then travels within the membranes to the placenta (between the amnion and the chorion). The exposed vessels are not protected by Wharton’s jelly and hence are vulnerable to rupture. Rupture is especially likely if the vessels are near the cervix, in which case they may rupture in early labor, likely resulting in a stillbirth. Early detection can reduce the need for emergency cesarean sections. (Source: Wikipedia.org)
In Layman’s Terms: What it means is that the umbilical cord vessels separated at the end where they implanted and inserted into the placenta as 3 separate vessels. Normally, the umbilical cord is one solid cord and implants as such. So, the three vessels are a little more fragile. Once I go into delivery one of the vessels could rupture easily and cut off oxygen and blood to the baby (which could result in brain damage or stillbirth). Hence, the best thing to do is a c-section before I go into labor and hopefully everything will be okay.
With everything I’ve already gone through this was not happy news. After talking with my doctor and making a plan, I feel a little relieved. At least I know what’s going on and when the c-section will occur. I’m scheduled for the c-section on Monday, January 16, 2012. I’m hopeful that all will be well.
I love it when guys read my book! Chapter 5 is totally dedicated to men so there’s plenty info and stories for guys to peruse in Infertility Journeys, Finding Your Happy Ending.
I have good news to report. My pregnancy has continued along smoothly in the last trimester. Other than getting tired, having lower back pain and pain in my hip joints (which is awful at times) things have been okay. The doctors have continued to monitor the baby’s
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You’ve tried so hard. You’re overwhelmed and emotionally bankrupt. You’ve spent endless amounts of energy and dollars in your longing to create your family. But tests, time and tears have not produced results, and now you are wondering…what’s next? Do I give up my dream? What about egg donation or surrogacy?
